Are You Relying on Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms? Here’s What to Do

When life feels overwhelming, we all look for ways to cope. It’s human nature. But sometimes, the habits we turn to for relief - whether it’s a glass of wine after work, hours of mindless scrolling, emotional eating, or burying ourselves in work - can start to become more harmful than helpful.

You might not even realise you're relying on unhealthy coping mechanisms until they start affecting your mood, relationships, or daily life. If this feels familiar, you're not alone - and you're not broken. These behaviours often develop for very understandable reasons. But there are better ways to support yourself, and therapy can help you find them.

What Are Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms?

Unhealthy coping strategies are behaviours we adopt to manage stress, pain, or emotional discomfort - especially when we don’t feel safe expressing or sitting with our feelings. They can provide short-term relief, but over time, they tend to mask rather than resolve what’s really going on underneath.

Here are some common examples:

• Overeating or restricting food

• Using alcohol, drugs, or smoking to numb feelings

• Overworking or staying constantly busy

• Avoiding responsibilities or withdrawing from others

• Obsessive screen use or doomscrolling

• Compulsive shopping, gambling, or thrill-seeking

• People-pleasing to avoid conflict or rejection

It’s important to remember that coping mechanisms aren’t “bad” in and of themselves - they’ve usually developed as a way to survive, self-soothe, or stay in control when we didn’t have other tools available.

Why We Develop Unhealthy Coping Strategies

Unhealthy coping mechanisms often begin as protective responses. They can be linked to early experiences where emotions weren’t met with care or understanding, or where we didn’t feel safe to be vulnerable.

Maybe you learned that expressing sadness was “weak,” so now you stay overly busy to avoid feeling low. Or perhaps you grew up in a high-stress environment and drinking became a way to manage anxiety. These habits usually make sense in context - they just might not be serving you anymore.

Therapy can help you explore the origin of your coping patterns with compassion and curiosity. It’s not about judgment - it’s about understanding.

Signs It Might Be Time for a Change

Some coping strategies start subtly but can take a toll over time. Here are some signs that it may be time to re-evaluate:

• You feel increasingly disconnected from yourself or others

• You’re constantly tired or emotionally drained

• Your go-to habit is starting to cause guilt, shame, or concern

• You feel stuck in cycles you can’t seem to break

• You’re using avoidance or numbing to deal with life’s challenges

• You want to change, but don’t know where to start

If any of this resonates, know that help is available - and you don’t have to figure it out alone.

How Therapy Can Help You Find Healthier Ways to Cope

Working with a therapist can be an empowering step toward changing your relationship with stress, emotion, and self-care. Here’s what that might look like:

Awareness & Understanding - Therapy gives you a safe space to explore what’s driving your behaviours and what emotional needs they may be trying to meet. Understanding “why” is often the first step toward change.

Self-Compassion - Instead of shaming yourself for your coping strategies, therapy helps you approach them with empathy. This makes it easier to make gentle, sustainable shifts.

New Coping Tools - Your therapist can support you in developing healthier, more adaptive ways to manage difficult emotions - like mindfulness, grounding techniques, assertive communication, or boundary-setting.

Breaking Cycles - With consistent support, you can begin to notice your triggers, interrupt old patterns, and build new habits that serve your wellbeing in the long term.

You Deserve to Feel Better

Relying on unhealthy coping mechanisms isn’t a failure - it’s often a sign that you’ve been doing your best with what you’ve had. But you don’t have to stay stuck.

Therapy offers more than just a space to talk. It’s a space to be seen, understood, and supported as you learn new ways of being with yourself and the world.

At Room for Therapy, we believe that everyone deserves access to support that feels compassionate, empowering, and tailored to their needs. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or just ready to try something different, we’re here to help.

Visit roomfortherapy.co.uk to explore our therapists and find the right support for you. Or contact us using our Contact Form or by email - contact@roomfortherapy.co.uk - to find out more about how we can help you begin that journey.

Caring for your emotional health isn’t selfish - it’s essential.